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In 1985, I had a spiritual awakening and in 1987-1989 I went through the School for Spiritual Growth and Inner Healing, at St. Joseph's Prayer Center, founded by Fr. James Wheeler and Sr. Dymphna. I was also encouraged to go to one of their Spiritual Directors to help me with inner healing prayer and spiritual direction as I went through the school. My spiritual directors’ were not just chosen, they prayed about who God wanted to use for me. This gave me much joy, He did call me by name.
The two year course taught me much scripture and meditation, forgiveness, God's Mercy, allowing Jesus to be my mediator, my identity in Christ, etc. I grew closer to Jesus, Mary and the saints.
It was in the last year of the school in one of the last lessons which asked what sin still clings to me, as I waited in quiet for the answer, The Holy Spirit showed me it was not my sin, but my uncle's sin of sexually abusing me as a child, that was clinging to me.
He was married to my father's sister. They and my grandparents lived with us for a while and there was a lot of pressure being around their nasty remarks and his advances. My whole family was physically sick all the time. My parents were also afraid to stand up to them.
I struggled with a lot of self-hate and wanting to die. I was having flashbacks all the time and not able to be a good parent, always anxious and impatient. I was agoraphobic and was afraid to take my kids places. I always feared something would happen to them. My husband was a policeman and so I had a lot of fear when he had to work and I had to be alone at night. I would try to go to church but always felt ashamed to be there. Shame always seemed to rule me.
Jesus saved my life. He used St. Joseph Prayer Center and my Spiritual Directors who prayed with me, bringing Jesus into the memories which healed me. Little by little I was being transformed. Fr. Wheeler's pain and healing journey brought me help when I was desperate and now my healing recovery is being used to help others.
In 2000 I went through the second school to become a Prayer Minister and Spiritual Director. I have been a member of the Core Team for the last 13 yrs. I am a Spiritual Director and Inner Healing Prayer Minister, my desire to draw nearer to Jesus has increased. He calls me deeper always.
I am stronger with every trial, uniting my pain to Jesus' passion has brought me life.
Thank You Jesus